The Week From Hades

Can this week get any worse? I'm usually all about optimism. A glass half full kinda gal. But not today. I'm all out for the week. I'm not giving up, just taking a nap on it. So here it is:

  Friday morning this chick backed her Beamer into the side of my precious baby, Charlotte the Chevy. Oh, the humanity! Now Charlotte has a dent in her door. High note: It's going on Beamer's insurance, not mine.

  The next couple of days are normal, only my shot was late arriving in the mail. See, the drug company sends me a three month shipment in the mail, every three months. I got a little behind on what day I take it. I told them this and that I'm trying to get it back on Mondays however, the drug folks waited to send it on Wednesday because that's when I've been taking it lately.....because I've chickened out. Hey, needles are NOT easy. It's Friday. I still haven't taken my shot. Why? Well, here's the rest of the week from Hades. This should explain everything.

  Tuesday I woke up with a visitor. Urinary Tract Infection just made herself at home in my bladder. How nice of her. Now, I know some of you don't wanna hear about this, but I'm venting today. Go with it. Have you ever peed razor blades? Yeah, that's just, in a word, awesome. (I can't curse; it would cause problems with Jesus and me so we're gonna go with *awesome* today in the place of what I really wanna say.) What did I do to evict this tenant from her new found residence? I paid a visit to my hero in blue scrubs, Dr. Calfee. He prescribed a little rust colored pill for pain that turns my pee glow-in-the-dark-orange and an antibiotic that gives me the New England Fox Trots. Fun.

  Wednesday I locked Lilli and myself out of the house. It gets worse. My truck keys were also locked in the house. Lilli had dance. In Chatsworth. In 10 minutes. My mother in law had to come to our rescue. Then my dad had to rescue me from the dance studio as I was wearing NO makeup. Shhh....don't tell.

  Bless Lilli's heart. Thursday at 5:39 am she woke up with a stomach virus. She puked....and puked....and puked....and did I mention puked? I had to arrange for the grandparents to keep her while I ran to CHS to speak to the FCA girls at 7:15am. This went fabulously until I decided to say "the devil sucks" and got a couple of looks from a mother or two. My bad. I picked Lilli up after about 45 minutes and we ran home to start the "Gatorade" trials. This is where you have your kid drink 1oz of Gatorade every 10-15 minutes and see if they can hold it down. This worked. We napped. And I woke up. Puking. Puking. Puking....did I mention puking? Did I also mention that it lasted WAY longer than Lilli and then FINALLY at about 1:30am it was over? (However, I am VERY grateful that Lilli's didn't last that long.)

  This morning my weak body pulled itself out of bed and got my kid ready for school. She was bouncing around like nothing had happened the day before. Her appetite and color had returned. Me? Well, let's just say Mary Kay can't help this mess out today.
   I made her lunch and packed it but we couldn't find her book bag. We assumed it was still in the truck. On the way out to my truck saw that Jordan had parked the van behind me. I said, "I wish he wouldn't do that, I'm afraid I'm gonna back into that thing one day." I ran back in to get Lilli a blanket for the ride to school because it was colder than what we expected and it takes a minute for the heater to heat up; in the process I found the book bag...hidden in the toys in the closet. I ran back outside, plugged up my phone, and buckled us in. We were ready to hit the road. I checked my mirrors. I even rolled the windows down to get condensation off of them so I could see better. My truck was in reverse. My foot was on the gas. BOOM!

  I backed into the van.

  Today, me, my dry heaves and my UTI will stay INSIDE the house. We will come out for no one. 



  1. Brandi, this made me laugh hard! Sorry for all your troubles, but it does make for a great blog entry!

  2. Yeah, I didn't wanna do a "diary" type blog. I like doing the story thing....but this was too big for a FB status. LOL! Glad you got a laugh at my expense. hahaha!

  3. Did my dad tell you that I backed his rental car into my OWN car when they were visiting last month? Good old dad had the good sense to NOT chew my head off when he noticed that I was already bawling my eyes out before I even got out of the car. These things happen. Next week will be better! :)

  4. All I have to say is: I'm ready for Disney. :D


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