Sunday, March 2, 2014

A Message For Jordan

Sweet Jordan,

      For years I prayed for the man God would have for me. I remember when I was little wondering what he would look like....what was his name? Would he love me as much as I already loved him? What would he do in his job? Would he sing with me? Would he love Jesus as much as I did? Would we have kids?
      Who knew that the day I walked into the YMCA for a simple youth lock-in that the young man strumming "Kiss Me" on the guitar would be that precious mate I had prayed for for so long? Years passed and there you were, constantly popping up in my dreams, at random events, and finally, of all places, a pageant. I'll never forget how I felt when I saw you for the first time in a couple of years at Murray's Jr. Miss Pageant. You had become a man full of the Holy Spirit and set aflame by His love. Your face shone in His glory and your chocolate eyes reflected His humility. I knew then that God had something special in store for us, as my heart melted into His will.
      Soon after, you asked my daddy for my hand, as you knew that he was the most important man in my life. You had the utmost respect for my parents and for me.
      I'll never forget the day we found out we were pregnant with Lilli. Your words, "Well, now we can get married sooner," still ring in my ears. You were so supportive and encouraging, constantly reminding me of your love for me, never wavering and never faltering, always unconditional.
      We have been blessed in abundance over the years. We've moved; friends have come and gone; death and life have taken us on wildly emotional rides as you were there when I lost my Granny Stella, and I was there when you lost your PawPaw. We've lost jobs and money, friends and loved ones; we've seen the good in the world and we swam in its riches unhindered by waves or weather, as the sun reflected off of its waters and warmed our faces. We've also seen the evil in it, and at times it seemed as though we were drowning in its ever-pressing weight, its black waters clouding our eyes. But we've never been alone in it.
      Together we have faced blinding and paralyzing sickness with Jesus leading the way through the unknown. The scariest day of my existence....just thinking about the fear that engulfed me breaks my heart and swallows me in a dark hole. But God gave me such a wonderful blessing and reminder of His justice and strength for times like this one. You reached to me with the strength of the Lord and reminded me that I am not a broken woman in Him, for in my weakness He is made strong and I have nothing to be afraid of, for Christ's perfect love casts out all fear.You reminded me that I'm not a crippled body or cognitive mess, but a servant of Christ who can do anything she puts her mind to in Him. You reminded me that no matter what, I would always be beautiful because of who lives in me, that my ashes would be His beauty.
      We've prayed the prayers of broken vessels and clutched the Master's robe in worship and gratefulness for guiding us through the fire, always together and always with Him. We've basked in God's glory as He continues to shower His grace and mercy on us as we obediently wait for His next move.
      When I've been too impatient to see His will, you've prayed for my eyes to be opened so that I may see the bigger picture. When I've questioned God and His plan, you've made it clear to me. You have stepped into your role as spiritual leader of our family and our home and strengthened my walk with Him, reminding me that my God will never leave me or forsake me, reminding me that His thoughts and ways are higher than mine, reminding me that His sacrifice is why I'm on this earth, why I live and breathe, and why I am able to proclaim His greatness. You have put my relationship with Him and your relationship with Him above our marriage, for you know that He is our Master and Creator and everything we are is in Him. This is true love, Jordan.
      Love is so patient and kind. It doesn't envy or boast and it certainly isn't prideful. It doesn't dishonor others and isn't selfish; it doesn't anger easily and it never keeps a record of wrong doings because it is completely and totally forgiving. Love isn't happy with evil doings, but rather it celebrates with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and it always perseveres. Love never fails. (1.st Corinthians 13: 4-8)
      You have done all of these, Jordan. You're patient and kind and you're not boastful or prideful, but humble and obedient. You respect me and our union and you're not selfish. You don't anger easily and you are more than forgiving. You rejoice in truth and goodness and weep for the evil that fills this world. You always protect, and you trust me and I trust you; your hope is in the Lord and you are steadfast in Him. Your love for me and most importantly for the Father never wavers.
      I can't thank the Lord enough for You. I prayed for patience once...He gave me you. I prayed for humility....He gave me you. I prayed for a quiet spirit...He gave me you. I prayed for understanding....He gave me you. I prayed for healing....He gave me you. Don't you see, my Jordy? God gave me you so that I could be taught how to achieve all of these in Him. Your walk inspires me and teaches me daily.
      You have embodied Christ's sacrifice and love in this marriage, Jordan. You have embodied true love. Through all of this I've grown closer to our Father, I've been spiritually launched into the Holy Spirit's baptism, and I've been made whole in His love. I know without any shadow of doubt that God answered all of my prayers by giving me you, as His love and His will for my life is put into perspective every day. My fears are calmed and though I may not have the answers to all of life's questions, you are that constant reminder in the flesh of what God is, can, and will do if only I'll be still and let Him do it. This marriage and this life aren't about you and me, they're about the glory of the Father and the furthering of His kingdom. I prayed for a ministry in Him, and no matter where our music takes us, I know that our true ministry in Him is our union in Him. What a gift! Just knowing that God had this planned out from the beginning--everything in the past 10 years and everything leading up to this point is for His glory. I am so blessed to be a part of His plan with you, Jordan. My heart soars with the thoughts of God's will and promises coming to fruition, and the thoughts of even more to come in our future. Thank you for continuing to be a gift, for showing God's mercy and grace, for loving me in spite of my flaws, for loving me even more for them, for accepting this disease and defeating it daily with me, for embodying the love that Christ meant for marriages, for His people, for His body. I am so excited about the river of life flowing into our union and the blessings that He continues to pour through it. You are everything I ever hoped for in a husband, father, and best friend, everything I prayed for, and even more that I didn't know I could ask for. When God formed Eve for Adam He knew better than Adam what he would need in a wife, for He knew Adam better than Adam knew himself. God knew better than I what I would need in a husband and helpmate. Thank you for saving yourself for me, for waiting for me, for saving your heart for me, for loving me unconditionally, and for the faithfulness you've continued to show me, for the love you have for Lilli, for the respect and love you have for our Father, and for constantly directing me to Him for all things. I love you, Jordan Griffin, and I couldn't imagine this life without you. I can't wait to spend it in continual worship of our sweet Father with you by my side.

Happy 10th Anniversary!
Love Always,

Bran
Ecclesiastes 4:12  
      

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