Friday, July 21, 2017

You came. I knew that You would come.

      The other night I had the most incredible dream. As many of you know, we recently moved into a new apartment. But you may not know that in spite of it not being my "dream house," I'm kind of growing to love this new place. It's cozy. It's cute. It has a pool. It has a workout facility. And, praise the good Lord Jesus, I'm no longer having to hike my booty up three flights of stairs to get to it. We also recently figured out that the previous tenants must have been Christians. There's a sweet spirit in this place, and their leftover mail constantly brings in reminders of their missional mindedness and the work they were doing while here to further the kingdom. Now, I know that does not a Christian make, but the peace in this apartment, y'all. That sweet spirit. . .
       I've been doing my best to really sink in here, to decorate, and to make it feel like home. I was never quite comfortable in our last place even though I decorated it, even though we anointed and prayed over it, even though we lived there for an entire year. I was always unsure of the space there. I would wake up several times a night, and only partially slept, always unsettled in my spirit. For the first time in a year, though, I'm sleeping through the night soundly again. And I'm dreaming.
      This particular dream took place in the present; it wasn't futuristic or in the past. It was very real and very now. Jordan, Lilli, and I were standing in the middle of a field--a hay field to be exact. The day was sunny but slightly overcast; nevertheless, it was bright and beautiful, and the grass, rich and green, rolled in the breeze like water moved by a wake. Everyone we know was around us: our family, friends, and I distinctly remember specific faces of those in the crowd. The people who have prayed and stood in faith with us, and those who have been supportive but have also lovingly told us to "be realistic" about our spiritual and ministerial endeavors and call, were all there.
      A man came through the crowd to us and handed us a gold-colored sheet of paper that read "Deed" at the top of it. The three of us looked at each other questioningly; we had no idea what was happening or what the paper meant. Then someone said, "It's yours."
      This man that we do not know--all I remember is that he was bald and wore glasses--bought and gave us a farmhouse and fifty acres of farmland. He was inspired by our ministry and faith and felt led to purchase the property for us. I kept thinking, "But we haven't done anything to deserve such a gift." He gave it to us anyway and was no longer a part of the dream. He left as quickly as he came. There was no debt to be paid; the house was ours, free and clear. And the joy that followed was a kind I'll never be able to describe.
      I never saw much of the house; it was as if it was only in the corner of my eye because I was too focused on God and astounding joy that nothing else mattered, not even the periphery. I held the deed in my hand and looked up to the sky with my arms raised in worship and sang out, "You came! I knew that You would come!"
      As I mentioned in a previous post on Instagram, this song, this particular line, has come to be my theme over the past week or so. I have been spiritually screaming, "Everyone! Look! He's going to do this great big thing! He's going to provide a house and it will be our miracle house!" In my dream, God did just that. But when I proclaimed my message and thanks to Him, it was not in the spirit of an "I told you so," or vengeance, or even vindication in response to those who did not believe along with us. No, my song rang out over those hay fields in praise and awe and hope at what God had done because I already knew that it was done, but now, now everyone could see His glory. He was being magnified and no one could take any credit for His hand's amazing work. He came! I knew He would come! I knew! I knew! I KNEW! Jordan, Lilli, and I saw it from the beginning and now everyone could all see it with us and share in His glory.
      Prior to this dream, I had been wanting to paint something to hang over the fireplace, but I couldn't decide what to paint. I am a huge proponent of incorporating the Word and prayers and Christian quotes and lyrics in my artwork and around my home. They serve as constant reminders for my family and me. I had been praying about what to paint as this would be a serious reminder because this is the focal point of the apartment. When I awoke from my dream, I was in tears of joy; I was beyond elated about God being so glorified, about His goodness and His love for us. You know that awesome cry you have after waking from a happy dream? Yeah. That was the kind of feeling I was still cradled in while swimming in pillows and sheets. I knew then what I would paint.
      Something surprised me more than anything about my dream. I didn't wake up thinking about my house that had been given to me for free. I wasn't excited about proving anyone wrong, or the fifty acres of farmland that I could do a thousand cartwheels on and Jordan could farm for days. I was overjoyed by God being glorified. This feeling was an intense, deeply rooted fulfillment in Him that only lifted my faith and reignited my fire in Him.
      I'm finding that moving forward in God is about better understanding what glorifies Him and that blessing that I receive in return by being allowed to soak in His glory. In that few minutes of REM sleep that God so sweetly shared with me, He taught me that as happy as I may be in my new dream house, that happiness will never amount to the sheer delight I'll swim in when I see that He is glorified through it all. It'll never amount to the joy I'll receive when my "I knew" comes to its full maturity.
   
     
      

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